taste of seminary, day 3

surprising realization: i'm more tired after 3 days of "tasting" seminary than after a week of urbana 09. so with that, more tidbits of experiences, thoughts and highlights today-

• i always thought that it was unfortunate for "some" evangelicals to caricature the mainline folks (social activists without jesus). well, i'm learning that caricaturing also happens the other way around (surprise, surprise). i didn't like it when the profs presented their worldview as if i didn't know or believe that justice and faith can and must co-exist.
  
• so, so thankful for the professors, however different our worldviews, chose to be with us throughout the whole week. they eat with us, sit in other profs' lectures, go on site visits with us, participate in group discussions...that's passion, generosity and humility.
• a costa rican american professor in his late 60s said, "i have issues with my parents"- perhaps we're not so different after all.
• in my frustration, i scribbled HOW THEN DO WE STUDY THE SCRIPTURE?!
• visited an org called asian american institute and learned about immigration issues affecting the aa community.
• the phrase "come as you are" has a whole different meaning now. i grew up hearing it in very spiritual terms- but what does it look like to attend church as you are...an undocumented immigrant?
• another question that i may grapple with for a while: what does it mean for "illegal" immigrants when pastors preach about being citizens in God's kingdom?
• just for perspective: 38% of the CA economy is directly tied to the work of the undocumented workers.

those are the things i jotted in my journal, and then i stopped because my mind was too tired to write. some reflections:

• it's not so much tiring to be around people, but it's absolutely exhausting having to constantly externalize and articulate my thoughts and explain why i view the way i view things
• the social activist from the asian american institute was a korean american woman whose journey seemed to parallel mine almost exactly. SO WEIRD. 1.5 gen, evangelical and charismatic background, blahblahblah
• i love LOVE my small group
• the food is decent
• had the privilege of speaking with two women who shared about their struggles on their identity, culture, external expectations and internal dreams, and all of that intersecting with faith. wow, what a THRILL! my immediate thought post-conversation: so THIS is why IV staff do what they do!
• the above statement does NOT mean that i want to go on campus staff. i truly do not feel inspired to do that on a daily basis
• after the lecture on church history, my only thought was, "need safe space. need safe space." i just wanted to be around fellow evangelicals and not have to justify, deconstruct, and ask, ask ask. so the most restful moment today was when i sat across from mark, a chinese american who currently attends northpark seminary, and ate my dinner in silence.

what was most freeing today was to hear the activist (she has a korean name and i keep on forgetting what it is) say something along the lines of, "at the end of the day, are your professors' deconstructions going to disassemble your faith? will their modernistic approach to a post-modern construction of the christian faith invalidate your personal encounters with God?" "heckno" was my response. BUT the belief that at the end of the day, what stands are God's love and sovereignty is now rooted more deeply because i was forced to ask those hard, academic and shaky questions. that, i'd say was my worship to Him today.