leaving in 4 days

this trip will be one of many firsts for me. first time traveling overseas alone. first conference overseas. first time in south africa. first time working on a conference that's 10 days looooong. right now, i feel similar to how i felt before i left for WI to work on urbana 09- a combination of peace and purpose and faith that God has carved a unique space for me to contribute and receive at the Congress. it's a combination that i feel with my gut, if that makes any sense.

despite that godly combination of conviction, emotionally, i feel like a mess right now. i hate to admit it, but i'm scared about flying overseas by myself for the first time. i have this horrid image of me getting mugged and losing all my important documents at the airport running through my head over and over again. i'm worried that something will happen at home while i'm away. i'm freaked out that i won't be ready for the daniel project meetings that'll start the week after i get back from cape town. i'm wondering if the pair of jeans i picked out to wear while traveling will be too uncomfortable. or how oily my skin will get and how icky i'll feel after 28 hours of traveling.

so as i swing back and forth between holy convictions and petty worries, i hold on to the gently-whispered promise that things will be OK. starting next week, cape town is exactly where He wants me to be for two weeks...things will be OK.