frantic thoughts 12 days before urbana

i think i had enough with this spreadsheet updating bizzznesssss. minute by minutes? wah? must i really update this?! i kid, kinda. i would absolutely love doing what i'm doing right now, if i didn't have 45234 lined up on my to-do list. one of the hardest things i had to let go and learn was the act of being OK with mediocrity. i absolutely could not stand presenting information to anyone in a condition less than what i would consider to be consistent and comprehensive. but i realized that if i wait for me to have enough time and energy to perfect every project, i won't get anything done in time for urbana. turning in mediocre work kills me, but i do it because otherwise it would be like me not doing my job at all.

this morning i worked in a perpetual state of anxiety. i thought of what i would do onsite, what i need to communicate to all the different parties before then and the emotional/spiritual/mental preparation that i need to do...it's kinda overwhelming.

i have to say, though, i absolutely love my urbana team. i really hope we'll get to take a picture together before our contracts end and we disperse. the ops team has and is facing some hard deadlines with far-reaching consequences. i get annoyed when i get a few exceptions for projects that i work on (housing lists, flights, registration, etc); i can't imagine getting a buttload of exceptions from every area for every system that they set. they are true behind-the-scenes heroes of this monstrous conference.

last week i attended uw aaiv's last lg of the semester and spoke with a few students about urbana. about half of the chapter is attending!!! the students were super stoked too. i told one of them to go to D's AA evangelism seminar.

i think this will all be worth it. in two weeks, i'll be onsite, second day of the conference. it'll be worth it.